Dr Sarah-Jane Knight’s Top Tips to Connect with Teens

Here at Let’s all Talk Mental Health, we know how important it is to talk. But we also know how difficult having those important conversations with teens can be.

To mark #TimeToTalkDay and ahead of Children’s Mental Health Week next week, our brilliant resident Clinical Psychologist, Dr Sarah-Jane Knight, has shared some of her top tips on starting a conversation with young people (and also some advice on what not to say). 

Start small - it doesn’t need to be a big conversation with lots of pressure. Regular quick check-ins work equally well and consistency is key.

Find the right time - find the right moment to have a conversation. You might be desperate to talk, but avoid times such as straight after school or before going to bed as you're more likely to get monosyllabic answers or pushback.

Find the right place - it's important to find the right place and setting, which might not be around the dinner table or as they are dashing out the door. Find a place that works for you both. You’ll be amazed by how many powerful conversations happen in the car, on the school run or on a dog walk.

Use easy going conversation starters - literally anything you think of to get the words flowing. Try something simple like "how have things been going?"

Calm listening - you don’t need to react, or respond, straight away. Keep breathing, and validate what they tell you. This the magic of connection and support.

Keep going - if your teen doesn’t want to talk or it doesn’t go well, give them space then try another time or day. Just repeat the process and keep trying.

And now for what not to say….

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