Mean Teens: How to help
No parent likes to think that their teenagers are mean, and we don’t really think teens are mean either. However, we do know that many teens have a tendency to say or do mean things. It’s important that we try to understand some of the reasons behind these social interactions and what we can do to help teenagers learn from their behaviour.
This week, Jessica Hawley, Teen Mental Health Expert and CEO of the RAP Foundation, joined us to talk about what teens are coping with today that’s changing their developing teen personalities and personas, and how parents and educators can challenge the way young people talk to each other.
The Impact of Social Media on Teen Identity
Jessica talked about how social media has transformed the landscape of adolescence, compressing the developmental phase into much shorter bursts of identity experimentation. Historically, adolescence spanned several years, allowing teens to gradually form their identities, opinions and their understanding of the world around them. However, platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok create environments which impact the 'slow growth' of teenagers. Teens are subsequently forming personalities and identities quickly, often without the necessary emotional maturity or understanding of the consequences of their online actions.
This pressure, pace and the echo chambers social media and gaming creates can lead to significant stress and mental health issues. The constant comparison with peers, the pressure to maintain and live up to an online persona, and the relentless pursuit of digital validation can skew their perception of self and reality.
The Concern of Misinformation
Jessica explained how one of the most significant online dangers that impacts how teenagers behave is the subtle yet pervasive spread of misinformation, which can distort teens’ understanding of the world and impair their judgement. It influences their social interactions and can lead to poor decision-making.
Empathy Bypass
We know that teens can be judgy and critical, often oblivious to the ripple effect of their actions, and having a blind spot for the consequences. When they lack emotional maturity and insight, they're more likely to prioritise their own feelings over considering how their actions might impact others. This is where parents can give a nudge and some gentle challenges, so that they start to see things from a different perspective.
The Role of Peer Pressure
Peer pressure plays a pivotal role in shaping teenage behaviour, both online and offline. Jessica talked about how it can amplify the effects of interactions significantly - for instance, the desire to fit in or fear of exclusion, or being shamed, can drive teens to engage in behaviours they might not usually consider.
Jessica also explained how gender can play a role in influenced behaviour. Referencing findings from the Children’s Society’s Good Childhood report, she explained that boys tend to feel content when they have a secure group of male friends around them, whereas girls feel happier when they have a close relationship with their parents, giving an interesting and perhaps unexpected perspective to the ways teens might respond to influences in their lives.
Strategies for Parents, Carers & Educators
Knowing how to navigate challenging teen behaviour can be difficult, but Jessica shared some tips and strategies for parents and educators.
For Parents
Open Communication: Encourage open dialogue about online and offline activities. Ask about the apps they use and the content they consume, and discuss the potential risks associated with online interactions.
Teach them to problem solve: Discuss and listen to situations that they struggle with. Talk openly about their peers and some of the situations that crop up. Get them to see things from many different angles, and ask them how they would feel if these things were happening to them.
Try writing things down: If they don’t want to open up during conversations, or discussions are turning into arguments at home, suggest they try writing down what’s going on and how they are feeling so that you can read, process and respond calmly.
No Phone Zone: Implement rules about not sleeping with internet-accessible devices in the bedroom, as most problematic behaviours, including bullying, tend to peak at night. Removing the temptation for engaging in negative habits like scrolling for hours is crucial.
Monitoring and Privacy: While respecting their privacy, keep an eye on their online interactions to safeguard against potential dangers. Use these observations as talking points to guide them.
Role Modeling: Demonstrate healthy habits yourself. Show them how to interact online and offline respectfully and responsibly by modelling kind language, refrain from things such as name-calling at home.
For Educators:
Create a Safe Space for Discussion: Foster an environment where students can discuss their experiences and concerns without judgement. This can be facilitated through regular classroom discussions or designated sessions focusing on well-being.
Incorporate Digital Literacy in Curriculum: Teach students critical thinking skills to navigate online information. Help them understand how to identify credible sources and recognise misinformation.
Encourage Positive Interactions: Educate students on the impact of their words and actions. Discuss the consequences of bullying and the importance of empathy and kindness in both digital and in-person communications.
Collaboration with Parents: Work with parents to ensure consistent messaging about behaviour and mental health. Share resources and strategies that can be reinforced at home.
To watch the full session, log in to the hub or register now.