Teen Autism and Your Family
Autism in teenagers can impact family life bringing some challenges and some opportunities for deeper understanding. Autistic teens often experience the world differently, with differences in social communication, strong interests, and the need for routine - factors that can sometimes lead to stress within the family, especially when combined with transition into adolescence. These differences are not faults but simply a different way of experiencing the world.
This week, we were joined by Dr. Jane Gilmour, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, to explore these challenges with empathy and insight. She shared practical strategies to help parents support their autistic teen and also ways to help the whole family feels understood, valued, and supported.
Family Dynamics and Autism
Families with an autistic teenager often experience higher stress levels compared to those with neurotypical children or even children with other complex conditions. This stress is not solely due to the core features of autism but also related to some of the associated behaviours, for example, anxiety or aggression. These behaviours often stem from emotional dysregulation and a preference for sameness, making any change potentially anxiety-provoking.
Parents of autistic children are more likely to face mental health challenges themselves, often not prioritising their own self-care and personal time. This can shape their approach to parenting, and Dr. Gilmour highlighted the importance of self-care in maintaining balance. Prioritising their own well-being enables parents to stay grounded and consistently uphold their chosen parenting style.
Parenting Styles and Strategies
Dr. Gilmour explained how different parenting styles can affect family unity and stress levels. The authoritative style, which combines boundaries with responsiveness and warmth, is most effective for both neurodiverse and neurotypical children. This approach builds better communication and supports the child's needs while maintaining necessary boundaries.
Routine and planning are common strategies in families with autistic children, as they provide a sense of predictability. However, unexpected events can be more stressful for these families, and so there is a need to incorporate a certain element of flexibility to adapt to sudden changes.
Communication and Emotional Literacy
Effective communication is crucial in supporting an autistic teenager. Practicing emotional literacy by explicitly discussing thoughts and feelings can help young people understand and manage their emotions. Concrete strategies for communication, such as identifying trusted individuals to talk to and using signals to indicate distress, were also recommended.
Leveraging a child's individual interests can really help with communication and engagement, so that tricky conversations can be approached more easily and made more relatable.
Supporting Multiple Neurodiverse Children
Families with more than one neurodiverse child may face additional challenges, as different neurotypes can either clash or complement each other. Providing space and recognising each child's strengths can help with these dynamics. For instance, using separate spaces and pop-up tents as designated chill-out areas can offer necessary separation and sensory comfort.
Family dynamics are constantly evolving, requiring flexibility and adaptability. Supporting an autistic teenager means balancing the challenges of autism with the unique strengths and ‘superpowers’ it brings. By offering a supportive environment and truly valuing each family member’s individuality, families can grow closer together rather than feeling isolated or disconnected.
For further support, families are encouraged to connect with communities and resources that understand their experiences, ensuring they do not face these challenges alone.