Anger, Angst & Tantrums: Teen Emotional Dysregulation
Teen emotional dysregulation can involve intense emotions such as anger, anxiety, and sadness and can often be misunderstood. We've all heard of the "moody teenager", but is that really what's going on or are there underlying neurological and developmental reasons for these behaviours?
We were joined by Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Russell Woodhead, to talk about understanding teenage emotional dysregulation and what parents and carers can do to help teens understand and manage their overwhelming emotions and behaviours.
The Neurological Basis
Russell explained how during adolescence, the brain undergoes significant changes. The limbic regions, responsible for emotions, are fully developed by the mid-teenage years. In contrast, the prefrontal cortex, which manages thinking, reflecting, and regulating emotions, is still developing and so it makes them vulnerable to emotional dysregulation. Russell gave the analogy of giving a teenager keys to a Ferrari that doesn't have brakes.
Strategies for Managing Dysregulation
Regulation Techniques: Understanding how emotions are regulated is helpful, so Russell used the illustration of a computer with hardware (which is equivalent to a teen neurobiological structures) and software (is their language-based understanding). It's important not to introduce new information when a teen is overwhelmed, as this can be perceived as threatening to the ways their brains operate.
Communication: Use minimal words and maintain a calm, warm tone. Acknowledge a teen's emotions without trying to solve the problem immediately. For example, saying, "I can see you're upset, and I don't want you to feel like this," might help.
Planning and Reflection: After the emotional episode, when both parties are calm, discuss what happened and plan for future occurrences. This helps build trust and safety.
Parental Regulation: Parents should be aware and manage their own emotions if they want to help their teens manage theirs. Techniques like mindfulness - noticing what's happening in the moment - and grounding exercises can help parents stay calm during their teen's dysregulation.
Building Resilience: Long-term emotional resilience develops through healthy relationships and open communication about emotions. It's important for parents to model emotional regulation and discuss their own feelings honestly with their children.
Emotional Dysregulation in Neurodiverse Teens
For neurodiverse teens, such as those with autism or ADHD, emotional dysregulation can be more noticeable and frequent. Autism may lead to hyper-focus and difficulty shifting attention, while ADHD can cause challenges in managing stimuli. Despite these characteristics and influences, the emotions and outbursts experienced by teenagers are valid and often have underlying reasons.
The Role of Shame and Anger
Shame can often underly anger and aggressive behaviour in teens and getting to understand this root cause and connection is important if you're trying to help your teen. In cases where emotional dysregulation leads to concerning and risky behaviour, professional support may be necessary.
Russell talks about therapeutic approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) as effective interventions for addressing underlying traumas that contribute to these emotional responses.
Teen emotional dysregulation is a normal, healthy part of development, which is driven by neurological changes. While it can be overwhelming, it is essential to approach it with understanding and support. If managing these emotions becomes challenging, seeking external support from professionals might help. Emotional dysregulation isn't just a challenge, but also a developmental phase that can lead to growth and resilience in your teen.