Teenagers and Sex: The reality check
In today’s constantly evolving world, relationship and sex education (RSE) plays a hugely influential role in shaping how young people perceive and engage with the world around them. The importance of providing teenagers with comprehensive, non-judgemental education cannot be overstated, and helps them to build healthy relationships. But it’s not just at school, online, or from friends that young people learn about relationships and sex; it’s also through the important conversations we have at home. Parents and guardians have an important role in shaping how teens understand consent, boundaries, and emotional health, and their guidance can make all the difference when teens develop their own healthy and respectful relationships.
In this week’s session, we talked to Tasha Mansley from Split Banana - award-winning provider of inclusive and relevant RSE - to talk about the key conversations parents should be having with their teens around sex education, including how to address topics like cultural sensitivities, pornography, consent, and social media safety
The Need for Comprehensive RSE
Tasha started by explaining that there is often still a disconnect between what teenagers need from RSE and what is provided in schools.
She emphasised the importance of giving teenagers a space to reflect on the myriad of ideas and narratives they have absorbed from various sources such as social media, television, and their immediate social circles. By the time formal education addresses topics like healthy relationships, intimacy, and consent, teenagers have already formed certain perceptions. Effective RSE should equip them with critical thinking skills to engage with these pre-existing ideas, supporting a more sustainable understanding that prepares teens to adapt to the changing social landscape.
The Role of Parents and Schools
Parents and schools play a pivotal and complimentary role in supporting teenagers through these educational journeys.
When it comes to RSE in schools, a spiral curriculum approach is recommended, where topics are revisited with increasing complexity throughout a student's education. This method allows for a deeper understanding of identity, consent, and social pressures over time, rather than a one-time discussion. Schools need to be flexible and adaptable, responding to the behaviours and questions of young people.
Parents, on the other hand, can model healthy relationships and boundaries at home. By demonstrating conflict resolution and respect towards others and themselves, parents provide a living example for their children. Encouraging open conversations about feelings and experiences further bridges the gap between school education and real-life.
Key Issues Teens are Dealing with Today
Drawing on recent research and her own experience of the questions young people ask in education sessions with Split Banana, Tasha talked through some of the main things that teens deal with:
1. Power Imbalances and Gender Identity
A significant concern among young people is the power imbalance in relationships, often influenced by societal norms and gender expectations. While education has improved in identifying and addressing overt harassment and coercion, subtler forms of power dynamics remain challenging. RSE must evolve to help students recognise and navigate these complexities, promoting equality and mutual respect in relationships.
Additionally, discussions around gender identity are crucial. As society becomes more inclusive, education must reflect this diversity, supporting students who identify outside traditional gender binaries and fostering an environment of acceptance and understanding.
2. The Impact of Media and Online Content
The rise of digital media and online content has introduced new challenges in RSE. TV programmes and social media often glamourise unhealthy relationship dynamics, which can influence young people's perceptions. Critical digital literacy is essential to help teenagers discern the motivations behind online content and its potential impact on their views and behaviours. This education is vital in countering harmful narratives and reducing the impact of gender-based violence online.
3. Pornography
Pornography is a significant concern in the digital age. It can create inaccurate and harmful ideas about sex, relationships, and body image which can distort their understanding of healthy sexual relationships. If parents and schools don't teach teenagers about sex, intimacy and healthy relationships, then pornography will remain their primary source of sex information. Being curious about what young people know about pornography and encouraging open discussions about the motivations behind such content and its real-life implications can help mitigate its negative effects.
Relationship and sex education is part and parcel of adolescent development, and it's starting earlier and earlier. Providing young people with the knowledge and skills to form healthy, respectful relationships, and by encouraging critical thinking, addressing power dynamics, and integrating digital literacy, educators and parents can support teenagers as they develop their own relationships. Through continuous dialogue and education, we can empower the next generation to build a more inclusive, understanding and tolerant society.
For further resources and support, parents and educators are encouraged to engage with educational materials and professional guidance to continue these important conversations.