How Parents Can Help Teens deal with School Pressure
In today’s fast-paced world, teenagers face a myriad of pressures, particularly in academic settings. To support teens in the best way possible, it’s crucial for parents and educators to recognise the various sources of pressure and the impact they can have on the mental health of young people. Even the best-intended parental guidance can sometimes add more pressure, especially if it’s based on a different version of success than the teen sees for themselves. This week, we talked to Cathy Ellott, Head of Putney & Streatham High, and Dr. Sarah-Jane Knight for an insightful discussion on creating a balanced, supportive environment for teens.
Recognising Academic Pressure
Academic pressure is a common experience for many teenagers. While some thrive under this pressure, viewing it as a motivator for resilience and performance, others may find it overwhelming. The pressure to excel academically can often be compounded by expectations in other areas such as sports, music, and social interactions. This cumulative pressure can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed or trapped, manifesting in behaviours such as avoidance or rebellion.
The Role of Parents and Schools
Parents and schools play a pivotal role in helping teenagers navigate these pressures without fear of judgement. A solid support system and open communication between home and school is essential. Schools can provide a supportive environment where students feel heard and understood. Parents, on the other hand, can offer a listening ear and help their children prioritise tasks. When families and schools work in partnership, teens are far less likely to feel alone in their struggles.
Strategies for Relieving the Pressure on Teens
Open Communication: Encourage teens to express their feelings and concerns in a safe space. Listening without immediately jumping to conclusions or offering solutions can help.
Prioritisation and Planning: Help teens prioritise tasks and develop skills to manage their time effectively. This can reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed by setting realistic goals and understanding that not everything requires 100% effort.
Encouraging Resilience: Teach teens that it's normal to feel stressed and that learning to manage this stress is part of growing up. Encourage them to see challenges as opportunities for growth.
Modelling Behaviour: Parents should model healthy coping mechanisms and self-care practices. Demonstrating how to handle stress and setbacks can provide teenagers with valuable life skills.
Balancing Expectations: Help teens understand that not everything requires perfection. Encourage them to focus on effort rather than outcomes and to find a balanced approach to academics and extracurricular activities, also recognising the importance of downtime.
How to FAIL: Help teens see that setbacks and failures are a natural part of life, offering valuable lessons that allow them to move forward with new understanding and confidence. As Cathy says, FAIL should stand for ‘First Attempt in Learning,’ reminding teens that setbacks are just stepping stones towards growth.
Support for Neurodiverse Teens: Tailor support to meet the unique needs of neurodiverse teens, recognising that they may require different strategies to manage pressure.
Managing Parental Stress: Boundaries & Balance
Set Boundaries: Limit adult conversations with teens to prevent added stress, especially around things such as financial matters. Let them learn money management without being burdened by adult worries such as school fees, rising energy prices and cost of living crisis.
Know When to Walk Away: Stepping back from conflict teaches healthy boundaries and keeps family dynamics balanced.
Repair and Reflect: Own mistakes and apologise when emotions run high, showing that imperfection is natural and constructive.
The key to supporting teens with pressure lies in nurturing strong relationships and ensuring open communication. By understanding the various pressures teens face and providing appropriate support, parents and schools can help teens navigate these challenges successfully. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure that teens are happy and flourishing on their terms, supported by a caring network both at school and at home.