Exam Stress: Helping your teen cope
Stress and anxiety around exams is a significant concern for teenagers and their families and navigating this time can feel difficult or overwhelming. Understanding the causes of exam stress can make all the difference in not only helping teenagers achieve, but also building their resilience and confidence.
In this week’s session, we were joined by parenting expert and psychologist, Dr Maryhan, to talk about stress, burnout and mental health during exam periods, including how to keep teens calm but motivated throughout the season.
Exam Stress: Identifying the Gaps
Dr Maryhan explained how exam stress arises from a perceived mismatch between the demands of exams and the teenager's belief in their ability to meet those demands. This stress can be broken down into three main areas: belief gaps, skills gaps, and knowledge gaps.
Belief Gaps: These occur when teenagers doubt their abilities, often thinking they are not as good as their peers. This negative self-talk can be addressed by encouraging open conversations and helping them recognise their strengths.
Skills Gaps: Some teenagers may not know how to effectively revise or manage their time. It's crucial to explore different learning styles and techniques, such as visual, auditory, or kinesthetic methods, to find what works best for them.
Knowledge Gaps: When teenagers do not understand the content, it can lead to stress. Schools often provide resources like clinics or drop-in centers to help bridge these gaps. Seeking external support, such as tutors, can also be beneficial.
Balancing Support and Independence
Parents face the challenge of supporting their children without being overly pushy. The goal is to raise independent adults who can manage their stress and responsibilities. Creating a supportive environment, setting boundaries, and encouraging self-motivation and ownership of learning are key strategies in offering the most effective support during exam periods.
Addressing Pressure and Expectations
Teenagers often place high expectations on themselves, leading to stress and avoidance. Understanding the root of these expectations and providing a safe, supportive environment can help them manage their stress. Encouraging them to try the ‘5 minute rule’ - committing to work on a task for just 5 minutes without distractions, then choosing to stop or continue once the 5 minutes is up - can also help overcome procrastination and often leads to longer periods of productivity.
School environments can add pressure to achieve high grades. It's important to communicate that messages from schools are often general and not directed at any one student. Encouraging teenagers to focus on their personal journey and strengths, rather than worrying about how their peers are preparing for the exam, can help alleviate this pressure.
Building Resilience and Confidence
Resilience and confidence are built through acknowledging and celebrating a teenager’s efforts strengths, both academic and non-academic. Encouraging them to try new things, celebrating effort and process over outcomes, helps teenagers develop a positive mindset and understand that setbacks are part of growth.
Supporting Neurodiverse Teens
Neurodiverse teenagers may face unique challenges when it comes to managing exam stress, so simplicity and routine are essential. Creating a distraction-free environment and encouraging short, focused study sessions with regular breaks can be effective. Strategies such as breaking down tasks into smaller chunks or using visual or audio aids that leverage on their strengths can make a significant difference in their academic experience.
Avoiding Burnout
Parents and carers can promote healthy study habits by setting clear expectations and creating a conducive environment for studying. Regular check-ins and open communication can help identify any issues early so you can offer the right support. For those who overwork, it’s important to emphasise the importance of taking breaks and maintaining a balanced lifestyle, making time for enjoyable activities outside of school work.
The key to supporting teenagers through exam stress is to zoom out and view exams as a small part of their overall life journey. By focusing on their well-being and personal growth, parents can help their teenagers navigate this challenging period with resilience and confidence.
For further support, parents are encouraged to maintain open communication and seek professional help if needed. Remember, every step in life is a learning opportunity, and everything is fixable.